Miss Demeanour arrived by taxi at her destination. The irate taxi driver turned to her and said: “There’ll be no charge, lady; you did most of the driving.”
The perfect writer?
Miss Understood sent a number of articles to a celebrated newspaper columnist, asking his advice as to the best channel for marketing her writings.
The articles came back with this response:
“The one channel I can recommend as the greatest outlet for articles of this type is the English channel.”
The perfect secretary?
Miss Guided –a doctor’s secretary – was perplexed by an entry in the doctor’s notes on an emergency case: “Shot in the lumbar region.” After a moment she brightened up and, in the interest of plainness, typed into the record: “Shot in the woods.”
A story where every goodbye isn’t gone and every eye closed isn’t sleep, Alice falls into her own story, at the cost of seeking the answer to Looking-glass question; much to the rage of infamous book reviewer, Paige Turner who threatens to jeopardise Alice’s writing career in Authorland.
Hoodlemania descends, and together Alice and her predatory blonde alter-ego, Miss Penopause walk the Critical Path to set forerunning hazards and high-jinks in motion in a bid to make Paige Turner eat her words and silence the damning book review before publication – but at what cost? For as Alice learns; it is far easier to get forgiveness than it is permission to get Paige Turner!
Since 2003 an anonymous “grammar vigilante” has been making his mark by correcting bad punctuation displayed on Bristol’s shop front signs and placards. The mysterious man, who operates in the late hours, regularly camouflages rogue apostrophes with self-engineered stickers through the use of an 8-foot adapted long stick and custom-built ladder – admitting to his nocturnal activities to interviewer: Jon Kay, for BBC Radio 4, he denied committing a crime, quote:
“It’s more of a crime to have the apostrophes wrong in the first place.”
He went on to disclose his campaign began when a council sign displayed: “Open Monday’s to Friday’s”, shortly followed by: “Amys Nail’s” see picture below …